Monday, October 15, 2012

The Music of My Life

Music is a total constant. That’s why we have such a strong visceral connection to it because a song can take you back instantly to a moment, or a place, or even a person. No matter what else has changed in you or the world, the one song stays the same, just like that moment.

     This is one of my favorite quotes. I came across it years ago and it explained it so perfectly. I've been desperately missing music in my life lately. Ever since I was in the womb, my mommy sang to me. It's been a part of me forever. I am not Lori without music. Lately, I've been feeling more and more like I'm losing who I am because I'm missing the music.

     The girls and I went to the movies this weekend for a fun night out. We saw "Pitch Perfect" and though it was super funny and enjoyable, I sat through the whole movie with chill bumps because of the music. I then had an incredibly vivid dream last night about it. I was sitting in a church (not sure which one) and was between my grandmother and a family friend who's always had an amazing voice (she is now an incredible photographer and mommy to two precious little girls). I don't remember what was happening, but all of a sudden someone broke into song singing a beloved hymn. It wasn't the part of the service where we were supposed to be singing, but it was though I couldn't stop myself. I started singing with her as did my grandmother. As we sang, more and more people joined in until there was a beautiful chorus just singing and praising God. I think God is trying to pull my back to Him. I really honestly believe I was given the gift of song to praise Him. That's the only reason I am able to sing and the reason I worship best through song. It's time to get back to church people! When God's speaking to me through my dreams, I know He is serious!

     So, I've decided I'm going to find a church home this year. No excuses. Once I get there, my butt is going into the choir loft, the special music lineup, the children's choir room, something! I am happiest in my life when I'm serving and I just haven't done that in a long time. I think I've been selfish, wanting to get things lined up in my life first. How ridiculous is that? It's time to let go of me and put Him first again.

     On another note, I thought I'd share a few of the songs in my life that really fit the quote above and take me back to somewhere or someone. So, here is a little bit about my music:

I'm Proud to Be an American (Lee Greenwood)
This song takes me back to my kindergarten graduation. Yes, I can actually remember that. I was wearing my white cap and gown and waving a little American flag. They played this song for the ceremony and every time I hear it I'm five years old again walking into the gym.

Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer
This song as well as most Christmas Carols takes me back to being a little kid and decorating the Christmas tree in the house we grew up in. I remember specifically the year my little brother and I had matching Winnie the Pooh pajamas and we danced and decorated the tree while the old carols played on our record player. (Yep, I'm old enough that we had a record player when I was a child). This is a tradition in our home to always play Christmas music while we decorate. The type of music has changed a tad from little kid carols to TransSiberian Orchestra, etc, but the concept is still the same.

When a Man Loves a Woman (Percy Sledge)
So, this one reminds me of my daddy. I know that's kind of weird, but hear me out. When I was little, every time we'd go to a wedding, my daddy would always dance to this song. My daddy loves to dance and always has. Sometimes he'd dance with my mom, but when she wasn't up for it, he'd pull me out on the dance floor with him, sometimes standing on his shoes as he moved around, and eventually twirling me around. Every time I hear it I think of him and I can't not dance to it when it comes on at a wedding.

Beulah Land
This song always takes me back to my Papaw's funeral when I was 14. I think it must be a staple Baptist funeral song since it's been played at every one I've ever attended in my life, but it really sunk in and meant something to me during his funeral. It was a sad time, yes, but I remember how grateful I was to know he was in heaven at that very moment. It was a very bittersweet one.

Drops of Jupiter (Train)
This was the very first song I ever danced to with a boy. It was the first song played at Parkway homecoming when I was 16. I went to the dance with my then boyfriend and it was the first time I had a real dance. It always makes me smile when I hear it played.

I Can Only Imagine (MercyMe)
This song was sung at my friend Alex's funeral when I was 18 years old. He was killed in a car crash the last day of my senior year of highschool. I sang a TobyMac song at his funeral and my friend sang this one. It had always been such a powerful and meaningful song to our youth group and it really hit home when we were singing it about Alex. Every time I hear it I'm right back there again, standing outside of the chapel trying to gain the courage to sing to his family and our friends for comfort.

Back Where I Come From (Kenny Chesney)
The first year I moved to St Louis, my mom and I went to see Kenny Chesney peform. I was 19 years old, had moved away from my family and friends and the life I'd always known, and was living in a strange place with no friends. I remember when this song started to play I just cried through the whole thing. It was one of the saddest moments in my life where I didn't know how anything was ever going to be good and happy again. I remember thinking I could never be happy away from the South and the way of life I'd always known. Well, I was wrong! Now when I hear it, I'm grateful for that moment in my life because it showed me that even when I think all if hopeless in my life, God has a greater plan for me than I can imagine.

Mama He's Crazy (The Judds)
The Judds' music has always been close to my heart. I mean, it's a mother-daughter singing duo...could you get any closer to my mom and me? We loved listening to them at the heart of their fame in the 80's-90's. I always dreamed of what it would be like to get to sing on stage with my mom fora living. I just knew we were destined to do that, too. Obviously, it didn't happen, but I still think of my mom every time I hear them sing. This song is the one I love most because my mommy always told me there would be a man that came along one day that would love me the way Davey does. I spent a lot of years not believing her, but guess what...she was right!

The House That Built Me (Miranda Lambert)
This song is bittersweet and brings me to tears every time I hear it. It is word-for-word my life in a nutshell. I had the chance to go back to our beautiful home that we built in Louisiana when I visited my grandmother. Of course, the owners since us have changed things here and there, updated colors and floring, etc, but the crazy part is that my room is almost completely untouched. The walls in the main part of the room have been painted over and the wallpaper taken down, but if you open my closet, the original lilac color of the room is identical to what it was when I was living there. It's crazy how much that memory overwhelmed me when I saw it. We had a very strong attachment to our home. We did everything as the song says. Mom went through magazines and designed the whole house and then Dad did everything in his power to make her dream come true. Our handprints are in the concrete out back, our dogs are buried in the yard, and I grew up in that room. I can still close my eyes and see every room exactly put together. This song is so impactful for me because I really do remember who I was when I step back through the door. I remember being that Lori so vividly that I forget how I got to be the person I am today for a little while. It makes me wonder who I'd be today if we had been able to stay there. I know my life would be so wildly different, but I'm grateful for the one I have now.

     Well, that's just a few, but I think it really drives home that quote. What are some songs that mean something to you? Leave me comments and share with me!

    

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